Killing Me Slowly

A Day in the Life4 Comments


Back in June 2013, I kicked diet drinks. It stuck. Haven’t had one since.

Well, there was this random Diet Pepsi in our fridge that a guest left a year ago and I tried it. It was awful. It used to be my favorite. It was funny how my tastes changed back after the purge.

Then last spring, I dieted again. Whole30 style. I wasn’t perfect but it was pretty good. I went somewhere into the 60 day range and then started disengaging. My training for the big races was ramping up and I needed more calories. And I needed my caffeine. My juice. Soda.

I have gotten pickier on my soda choices over the years. It is hard to turn down a “fruity” flavored Mountain Dew. I don’t really need regular Dew. But that Voltage stuff? That is crack in a can. If I could only have that, I would be set. And some Red Bull. It has special powers.

But I figure I am killing myself. I keep reading more and more about Type 2 Diabetes and I just assume I have it. Self diagnosed. Always a slave to the sugar. When I stop exercising, bad stuff happens. I become very inflamed. The random internet stuff I read says that massive exercise merely masks the symptoms of many of these diseases. They lurk under the surface. You aren’t preventing things by running a ton. You are just masking it. When you stop the exercise, the mask goes away and you realize the place you were really at health-wise.

Fuck. I am working too hard for this outcome.

My brain knows all this is true. So it is back to trying to remove the thing I love from my diet. I kicked soda out once again starting Dec 1st. Will it last forever? Maybe. Might be nice to get to a point where you can have the occasional cheat. But I have found that once you go off it enough, you lose the taste for it.

The loss of caffeine has always been another issue with this decision. I don’t drink coffee. I don’t want to start. However, I have been trying to find something else and I am starting to replace with unsweetened ice tea. Seems to be working. At least it is giving me something else to drink through the day and there is a meaningful amount of caffeine in the various tea selections. Having some amount of fun trying this new beverage everywhere I go. Even thinking about brewing some.

So why am I telling you? I don’t know. Some sort of public version of “calling my shot”. Trying to make myself stick to it this time.

I am not sure if I am going to try and purge sugar all together again yet. I figure this is my single largest input of the white devil to my diet. So maybe I can get enough out of this gesture to allow myself to go get some Rocky Road here and there.