Go out so-so, when it hurts find a 7-11!
-Brandon Fuller, 2013
The girls had another track meet today at Boulder High School. It was in the mid-80s at race time. Nobody is ready to run in that weather yet. Plus, they spent last night sleeping at the zoo and were falling asleep on the drive to the track. This can’t get us maximum race performance. Oh well. They ran 50m, 200m, 400m. One more meet last week.
As for me, I had to watch Kayla while they were gone so I wasn’t able to get out on my long run until today. But then I thought to myself, what would Dean do? No, I really didn’t think that. But I remember how Dean first inspired me to run to and fro various nonsensical things. This was his brilliance. So I decided that I would run home from Boulder High.
This is not a new adventure. I have run from home to Boulder. And back. With a Green Mountain in between. I looked up at Green as I stripped down to just my shorts in the high school parking lot. Still looked snowy and would easily add 90+ minutes for just that up and back. Plus, my ass would be really dragging coming in tonight. I passed.
So at 5 PM, I was off from the school and down the Boulder Creek Path for the run home. Oddly, I usually have run home just up the highway because I am dead. So instead I reversed the Lobo trail out of Boulder, which is super windy in spots. Not the most efficient way to travel in a specific direction. The temps were up and I hammered down 3 gels in the first hour. Phew. By the time I was up to Highway 52, I was out of water with no obvious refills in sight. I usually duck in a church but they all seemed closed up at this hour. The parks are not on yet because of our recent snow spell. They all love to wait until its fucking summer to turn the god damn water on in the parks and let people use the shitter. Apparently, nobody takes a dump over the winter at the park because we are all hibernating.
As I was cresting this miniature hill in Niwot, I bonked. Cramped up too. Dehydrated. Not much I could do. I pulled out my phone and texted my wife for kicks. Part of me wanted her to say, “oh we are nearby and will get you and take you for ICE CREAM”. I was delusional. Oddly, I started checking email while fast walking to work out the cramp. Then I checked Facebook because what else should you be doing in the middle of your long run? Saw Tony’s R2R2R2R2R post and enjoyed that while the cramp subsided. I can’t say I was instantly motivated but I did get back to a run again shortly there after.
As I came through Longmont, I knew one thing. I had to get some calories in me. So I ran up a side street and over to 7-11. How would society exist without this wonderful establishment? I went in all smelly and shirtless with my credit card out like a weapon. Water. Red Bull (not diet!). Snickers. Advil. “Do you want your receipt?”, she says. Sure, I will shove it down my pants. Whatever. I went outside and sat on some firewood for sale and filled my bottle. Popped the Advils and chased it down with Red Bull. Lots of people hang out in their cars in the parking lot there and I think the commentary about me had to be interesting. I proceeded to shove the entire Snickers bar in my mouth like a porn star and head on out. 2 blocks later. Life was good.
The sun was down at this point and twilight was subsiding fast. That darkness where you can run on sidewalk because of the moonlight but can’t see anything on your watch anymore. Some quick math…like simple addition…indicated that I would be 0.5 miles short of a true marathon knowing my landmarks. Well, we can’t come up short like that. I recalled the April Strava Challenge where you have to run a marathon. OK, fine. If Brownie can run a 3:40 and get it, I guess I can phone in a 4:10 or so. And so I kept at it. Felt like I was flying in the cool night air after that hot day. Hit the watch light to find out I was burning up 9:30 pace. Watch out everybody. The Advil kept me from crying my way home but didn’t improve my physical capabilities. Guess I will try EPO next time.
My wife texted me, “Are you close to home yet?”. All I could figure was that she wanted sex or something by this point. Again, running in the heat makes you delusional. I came into my neighborhood and had to do one of those bullshit loops where you have to spend another 1/2 mile or you will come up short when you hit the house. God damn those suck. Feels like bad planning. So I came down my street to a bunch of dark houses and nobody outside to tell me how awesome I am because I just did the impossible. Kind of. Not. I tried to get inside but the door was locked. Then I realized nobody took the trash cans out. So I did that. My job is never done.
Came inside and everyone was asleep. Clearly worn out from the zoo. Not from worrying if Dad made it back from Boulder. That guy is nuts. Like Dean.
I went 26.29 miles with an elevation gain of 334 feet in 04:08:06, which is an average pace of 09:26. View my GPS data on Garmin Connect.