Man Shit

A Day in the Life8 Comments

I try to steer clear of home improvement stuff most of the time anymore. It drives me crazy. Why?

I live in a world of bits and bytes. When I don’t like them, I delete, debug, refactor, iterate, compile, de-compile, test, measure, etc. Feels like taking clay that is eternally modifiable and getting it just right. I enjoy the freedom of the materials so to speak.

Back in the real world, I am not so lucky. Cut something too short. Well, then its now too short. You can’t just do it over. Drill a hole just a 1/4″ off center. You can’t just revert your change and try again a bit to the right. Sucks. At times I ask myself why not. I guess part of my brain likes to pretend it lives in the Matrix.

Anyway, after getting our new wood floors down in the kid’s rooms and their bathrooms, we decided that the floors would be destroyed in a week from water damage. Kids don’t dry off. Hell, they usually don’t even shut the curtain all the way. So I sent Kim to the store to check into tub enclosures. She came back with “good news”. The guy that works there said its one of the easiest things you can do. If they install, its like $200 plus the cost of the door which is $320. So about $500 a door. No hours out of my life. Yeah, I should just have them….”Honey, you should just install them yourself. He said it was easy. Are you saying you can’t do it?” Be-atch, I can do anything…don’t be testing my man powers. I just really don’t enjoy this crap though. So I told her how I felt. I let her know how its going down. “Yes, Dear.”

Bought two door at Home Depot. Pulled something in my groin trying to lift those bastards into my truck. Geez. Got them home and pulled out the 8 page manual of directions. Let me start figuring out how many years this is going to take. Oh great, here is a list of crap that I need that I don’t have — or that I left in Leadville. Back to the store. Needed to make 2 cuts on each door through the steel base and header to get them to fit. It says use a miter box or miter saw. I have a miter box. Let me try that. Fuck this. OK, you can’t cut steel nicely in a miter box you fools. Back to the store. My new DeWalt miter saw just blasts right through that steel. That’s more like it. Glad I didn’t lose any fingers though.

Got everything cut and ready and then had to drill through ceramic tile to hang the thing. 6 holes per shower. Oh god. I was using a masonry bit at first per the recommendation of the nice guy that said this project is “easy”. But that was a non-starter. I burnt the bits up. I finally found some tile bits at the store and they did a much better job. Probably burnt up 4 of those though. I just knew that every completed hole was 1 closer to done.

The first door took a long time but the second was much faster. I don’t think I even looked at the directions. Caulked both of them up really nice using tape for clean lines. Ta-da!


Well, if this software thing doesn’t pan out. And I can’t get a running sponsor. I can hang shower doors now…its easy.