I am a fan of Morgan’s work. The basis of his Supersize Me movie and his TV show was to fully immerse himself in various roles for 30 days. Long enough to learn, get in the groove, and make it feel just permanent enough.
So when I said I was taking a running hiatus after Leadville, this number just popped in my head as a minimum starting value. Something that was more than standard recovery and probably started going down the path of loosing my adaption. I basically wanted to change my pattern and see how things felt.
The first week was sort of easy. I was busy with work. The kids were back in school. Plenty of things to distract me. Frankly, the weirdest thing was to just wake up and shower. I have done that in years. Really. Its always after the run and the run might be soon or later. Never know. Now, I was clean by 8 AM and that was really freaky. And mentally, I went from never running again, to wanting to go rip it up the next weekend, to thinking about redeeming myself at the Bear 100, to figuring how to tell my wife that I (actually, we) are doing this again next year.
The second week threw in some new feelings. Still was glad not to be running. The time off had me falling into lazy mode finally and actually liking it. But usually found myself saying “Because I am not running I can…”. Running was still worked into many conversations. The new feeling I eluded to was with food. I started eating more and more and finding myself stuffed all the time. Not a feeling I am used to anymore. It was sort of gross and made me feel terrible. In the first week, I put the calories back in after the race. But now I was just plain overeating. Oh well, but this isn’t fun.
The third week brought anger into the picture. Maybe its work. Maybe its my constantly screaming girls. But I wasn’t dealing well. I found myself getting angry and just pissy all the time. And I sort of wanted to be that way. Simple things would drive me nuts and I would fly off the handle. Taking time with kids was a chore. I just wanted to be alone working. I used to feel this way more often pre-running. Somehow along the way, I lost a lot of that energy to be angry and found myself more peaceful more of the time. Now that outlet was gone and I just got mad at anything. It was odd. I could see it happening but couldn’t really effect it. Probably because I knew inside that it was temporary.
The fourth and final week brought an excitement. I found myself excited not to have to run when the weather turned cold here for a few days. Ah, the warm indoors. No fun on those days. Sure its not freezing out but when the sun isn’t shining brightly, I have little motivation. But instead of forcing it, I didn’t have to. I took a workout bike ride with my wife and it wasn’t as fun as it should have been. For some reason we just don’t mix when we are exercising. I think its a normal husband/wife dynamic. Frankly, we don’t do this anymore because of that. And now and then I try to think it will be better and I am proved wrong. I love her but we don’t mix well in this area. Its OK. I think she would rather be alone anyway in that situation. I need to do my own thing. I need to run.
I had my party last weekend and covered the basis for the 30 days off with a few. Lucho gave me some good words around “rebuilding the desire”. That has happened a bit through this break. I also hope that I rebuilt my body though. This was the longest consecutive day break I have taken since I started running 6 years ago.
So with fresh legs and a fresh spirit, I will lace up tomorrow sometime and get back at it.