Lord of the Yawns

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Ok, it wasn’t that it was a bad movie. And normally I like getting more for my money. But when I pay for a movie, I want to be entertained for about 2 hours and then I am done. Can’t sit still much longer. But Lord of the Rings was a 3.5 hour long movie. Somebody must have fallen asleep during the editing process.

As I waited for the end, I do what I do best – start picking the movie apart. Where is Eric when you need him? Our wives made us stop sitting together during movies because we were talking to much — I call it “pointing out factual errors”.

So, for example, after Frodo has travelled more than 6 months to get there and he gets the job done, the white wizard dude just flies in on a big bird and picks him up. Hello? What the hell? Why didn’t you just fly him there in the first place? Could have skipped 2 whole movies worth of plot lines and a couple of wars with a few million dead people. Obviously, air travel via birds was not mainstream in those days or was recently discovered.

Oh, and what was the deal with 2 hungry as hell kids climbing a 20,000+ ft. mountain in bare feet on a (let’s say) class IV trail. Man, I buy all the gear, train up, take supplies, and I am lucky if I can scale a 14,000 ft. peak. Maybe if I was charged with getting up the mountain in order to save the world, it might be a different story. Probably gives you a little more motivation.