Mind strong, Body strong
Try to find equilibrium
Head straight, screwed on
Been screwed up for too long
Mon - 0M: Work. 2 trips to DIA to send Fullers back to Indiana. Long conversation with Kim on Leadville to get her insight. Walked dog.
Tue - 0M: Work. Try and act normal. Walked dog.
Wed - 0M: Work. Being normal is boring. Walked dog.
Thu - 0M: Work. Walked dog.
Fri - 0M: Work. 5 Guys. Walked dog.
Sat - 0M: Off work. Spent all day on my laptop building software. Walked dog.
Sun - 0M: Off work. Spent all morning on my laptop building software. Mow lawn.
TSB is probably really positive.
So that wasn't much of a motivational report if you were seeking a reason to run.
Given I ran 86.5 miles last Sunday, I wasn't any worse for the wear this week. I wasn't overly tired. In fact, it was mostly hard to sleep. I wasn't really that fatigued. A little quad soreness but the stairs were fine by Monday. As far as ultras go, I think my training paid off because I could have been back in action easily this week. But I chose not too. This only furthered my sense that I was physically prepared for my race strategy.
In fact, I sort of choose to put myself on a 30 day hiatus from running. Gives me a chance to hike, bike, or just walk the dog. Not sure which I might do. Probably none. But I figured why not give myself 30 days to heal up everything that I can that might be achy before I begin anything new. However, I still am not sure there is anything concretely interesting for the fall.
I really appreciated the outpouring of comments on the race report. It was probably in total less than last year's LT100 race report comment count but they were substantially more creative, fulfilling, and appreciated. Just when you think nobody is watching! Then I spent a lot of time going through other folks race reports and repaying the favor as well as just spending time appreciating their experiences. My sister also posted her report here. While you know the story if you read mine, its fun to see it from the other angle.
From some of the comments I received, it seems a few were worried that I should keep away from sharp objects for a while. It never was that bad. In fact, I haven't shed a single tear before, during or after that race this year. Its sort of odd. I feel numb to it all, in a good way? I didn't spend a ton of time agonizing over what I did wrong. It was glaringly obvious during and after. The solutions are not complicated either but they are going to take a bit of work to experiment and get right. Traded emails with a variety of folks who set me straight on many of my mistakes. One key piece of advice I received: It's taken me two DNFs to learn this, but dude, EVERY year is about finishing.
I started thinking that this will be some sort of family decision if I choose to return to Leadville to race again. The time, the sacrifice. Its all true to an extent. But that's not really how we work around here. We encourage each other to just state our dreams and we all rally around them. Dreams are not formed or approved by a democracy. They are from your own person and soul. When your kid says, "I want to be the President!" you don't say..."yeah, that's hard". Your family is there to support that effort if they love you for you. My wife and my sister both expressed "if I could do it again, I would..." comments. I purposely bit my lip all week on the topic. But continually shared stories from other race reports as I learned of new exciting or depressing stories from Leadville. Suddenly realizing that we are post-Leadville and I am supposed to be giving it a break for a while. Ssssh. All that while trying to get back into a normal groove with kids, family, school, work, etc.
So with all that in mind, there is no other conclusion I can come to. Nothing has to be decided now but why drag it out? Things must be settled. When Ken says, "I commit, I will not quit", I think that also applies towards chasing your dreams. Therefore, putting random acts of timing aside for now, I will return to the scene of the crime next year and avenge my own failure at the 30th running of the Leadville Trail 100.