December 13, 2009
Burger Wars
Today on the way to take the kids to Disney on Ice (penance for being gone all week!), we stopped at Smashburger for lunch. This was my first time there. Friends had been saying that I had to try it and match it up against the others. I commented over on Facebook and a war began so I thought I would bring it out in the open.
The contenders — this isn’t a comprehensive list but rather a list of notables and the winner. My criteria will probably vary as we go through the list. Very non-scientific. Piss all over it as you will.
9. McDonald’s
We need a baseline.
8. Five Guys
We got this chain in Longmont earlier this year. I was excited for this East Coast burger addition to our town. Went there. Ate. Haven’t been back. First failure for me is that they had no burger alternative. This eliminates any possibility of taking Kim there since she doesn’t eat red meat. That hurts your score. Plus, being next to Chipotle hurts too. When confronted with the choice, I always go for the burrito. Sorry. The fries were crap. The burger seemed like one of those patties Eddie Murphy made fun of where your Mom made it and it looks all plump and funny. Wasn’t my thing. And what’s with the unsalted peanuts in boxes? And the signs saying how you get great reviews. Nah. Pass.
7. Burger King
Just wanted to throw that in there to dig on 5 Guys some more. Probably haven’t had a Whopper in 10 years.
6. Steak ‘N Shake
Now we don’t have these in Colorado but when I return to Indiana, I frequent this establishment. I enjoy the Steakburger patty. The little fries are fun for a few days. Shakes are OK. Basically, it is a good replacement when in Indiana but if it was here, I don’t know how often.
5. Red Robin
This was my steady for a long time. Now, I am getting burnt out. Still love it. Those steak fries grow on you after time and become really good. Plus the seasoning on them. The Royal with the egg on top is a classic. The milkshake is wonderful. Very good mix. My 2nd favorite shake in the land. The rest after this all are too malty. And for some reason, their Diet Coke is like the best in town. Right ice and carbonation. My downside for this is that Sydney and Kim hate it. That killed it off for a family night. Plus, I feel like the check is always really high when we leave. It might be the “fanciest” place on this list though so being the most expensive probably falls in line.
4. Smashburger
Now, I only had this today for the first time. The score might increase over time. I like the variety of toppings. Not too many but they have choices. Kim loved the Smashchicken. It did smell good. Might even try it next time. Fries were good. Overall, it was solid. It was hard for me to go above Red Robin but I think the casual dining experience won it over for me.
3. King Chef
I am squeezing this in there. What a value. Biggest burger in the list. Fresh ingredients. Homemade. But it is only in the Springs and I am not ever there. But I felt like ranking it in appropriately. The negative is they only take cash. I don’t even know what cash is anymore. Added fun stuff too with all the gimmicks about cleaning your plate and getting a princess tiara if you ask to many questions. Fun stuff.
2. Larkburger
This was a new addition to Boulder this year. And I eat there nearly weekly. Best part is the turkey patty. Love that. Makes me feel healthier. Fries are a big plus there too. I hate their shakes. It is this total Bryers ice cream deal and you can taste it. I don’t even order one. I wish they could fix that and it would be near perfect. Given I eat there so much, I am sort of glad the shakes are no good. Saves calories.
1. In-N-Out
You saw this coming, right? Perfect burger. Perfect fries. Perfect shake. Enough said. The thing is right on. Downside is usually that it is so busy that you have to eat holding your tray. That sucks. But the hidden menu that unlocks animal fries makes up for some of that. We don’t have one in Colorado of course so that is a big negative. But it makes me long for it. Maybe that is why it shoots to the top. I usually am there without Kim so I don’t have to worry about the non-red meat option for her — cause they don’t have one. However, the power is so great that she goes there and does eat things like fries and shakes and gets the main course elsewhere.
That’s the list off the top of my head. Fire away! Who’s hungry?
